It all began a month ago, on one of the first crisp mornings of the fall. Cy, my betrothed, had left out a bag of trash on our deck, planning to run it down that night but forgetting. An innocent mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. We didn’t know, at the time, the cascading consequences that would befall us because of his small error.
The heart of the mistake lay within the trash bag, an almost completely unfinished Dominoes Pan Pizza which would go on to be unearthed by an industrious little fucker, the inception of our war with the neighborhood squirrels. I came out that next morning, to walk my little pooch, and was stunned to see this little guy chowing down. At first, I thought it was maybe a little cute, and texted a picture of it to Cy, who came out from the bedroom to handle the situation a.k.a he banged on the door and yelled at it until it ran away.
Never in my life have I been so keenly aware of the antics of neighborhood squirrels. Since the pan pizza incident, we’ve felt terrorized by these creatures. Word must have gotten around in their community. One morning, while we were drinking our coffee, we looked out our window to see one of them clutching onto the screen, looking straight into our apartment, hissing at us. We tried to scare it away, but it was fearless. Emboldened.
When I walk my dog down the alley, the hair on the back of my neck raises. I look up and see squirrels, staring at me, from the telephone polls. Cawing like crows, little devils watching me from the rafters. I am not sure if they are preparing for the winter, or for war.
You would think that having a dog would give me a little ammo, as dogs and squirrels are natural enemies. My dog, however, is 14 pounds and has to wear a sweater vest in the cold. The squirrels do not fear her, they laugh at her. They are at their most predatory when I walk with her, and I at my most vulnerable, as I am usually holding a little baggie of shit.
Of all the hellish, apocalyptic things to happen in 2020, these squirrels are a blip on the radar, I’m aware. But I can’t help but wonder if they are merely another dark omen, a sign of the bleak winter that is sure to come.
Anyway, happy Monday guys!! How is WFH life treating you?
xoxo
Lael