Just another manic monday lol

onetime that song played on a Wednesday at Jewel Osco of course

hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah
I said hey, what's going on?

^I get tired of thinking up new fun ways to say hello in these so above are lyrics from What’s Up by Four Non Blondes, a classic scream-sing-in-your-car bop. I don’t drive in NYC (not a psycho) so I can’t scream sing in my car anymore. Now I just listen to emo music on the subway. I remain homesick for the Midwest and its large swathes of nothingness. My friends were at a casino in Iowa this weekend and I was full-on jealous. You may think a casino in Iowa sounds depressing but you get to hang with old fatties smoking heaters. They often look like a pair of discarded old leather boots but I’m obsessed with them. Midwestern gambling addicts are cooler than the fashionable hipsters of Brooklyn, I believe that deep in my heart. The people out here may be more attractive but I’m not convinced they’re more interesting. Those old fogies have seen things they’ll tell you unsettling stories and you can be like “oh god is this my future?” It’s FUN!

So what is going on? Should this be an actual newsletter? Well I just looked at the news and it all falls into what I would categorize as “boring” or “bummer” or “somehow both boring and a bummer” so I’ll let you fill yourself in on most of that hogwash. But to give you a preview the following headline actually made me actually fall asleep:

SNOOZAROONI HEADLINE ALERT. That was in my “For You” section of Google News and I’m disappointed in both Google and myself. Does anyone use Google News? Other highlights from Google News: a guy died in an avalanche (why I don’t snowboard, also couldn’t if I tried), Brexit is somehow still going on (oy! news from across the pond!), Clint Eastwood’s movie is a FLOP at the Box Office (good!), there’s a wintry mix in New Jersey (who cares), Trump takes a NASTY DIG at Pelosi (yikes/lol), and there’s a new map of where you can buy weed in Chicago (only exciting news in the bunch and it doesn’t even APPLY TO ME ANYMORE).

I’m trying not to smoke weed cause I’m pretty sure it gives me anxiety attacks, yay. Using a CBD tincture like a loser. Been very anxious and my heating pad is my port in this storm. I have spent a lot of time just unplugging and replugging the heating pad into different outlets, taking it with me wherever I can. It’s my little pet. I haven’t named it because I fear I’m too attached and ascribing a name would be a bit much. What if there’s an electric shock and I lose it forever? If I had to name it tho her name would be Gladys. Oh god there we go I named her despite myself.

Ok so UPCOMING SHOWS: Wet Cash this Friday, it’s in the back of a thrift store in Bushwick. Then I’m on a fundraiser for a woman’s softball team in February (dreams come true). otherwise nothing i’m on my knees begging you to book me (not that anyone who reads this wields that power).