So, how are we? How’s the panic levels out there today? Through the roof? Or just your basic ~what in the fuck is going on~ dose of malaise. Are you healthy? Has your ass gotten a little fatter from all the sitting around? Did Carole Baskin feed her husband to the tigers? Are we all going to just up and move to the suburbs or what? Are we rapidly approaching our Wall-E people destiny? Are you doing ok? Or teetering on the brink of collapse? I’m here for you! Virtually rubbing your back in little circles to calm you down. Giving you an imaginary scalp massage.
As talks of the virus began, I went to an empty Chinatown massage parlour and after working at a restaurant all day and then at night to a dirty Brooklyn bowling alley where I housed two bowls of communal Pub Mix. (Can this mean I’m immune please?) People in the bar were talking about how it was all a hoax, I was completely disinterested in the news and mostly thinking about how much I love a good snack mix. Some snack mixes are trash but this one is the perfect combo. Cheddar Chex has to be the best name brand snack mix, but I fux with an off-brand snack mix too! It’s a fun and tasty little scavenger hunt. I idly watched a group of Hasidic Jewish men bowl spares and high five each other. Barely did I spare a thought to the virus, and if I did it was along the lines of Everyone’s an alarmist, just wash your hand’s pussies. I’m an idiot.
On March 11th, when the world went to shit, I got up early for a flight to El Salvador for a trip I’d had planned for months for a friends wedding. I flew threw security. I texted my boyfriend “This is great! Travelling during a worldwide panic is a breeze!” I love a meander in the airport, especially when it’s empty. I talked to the lady at the duty-free shop, “Must be a weird time to work at the airport, huh?” and she nodded politely behind a mask. I thought quietly, Must always be sorta weird to work at the airport. At no point in my mind did I think “maybe this a bad idea” My dad called me when I was on the plane and told me maybe I shouldn’t go. I was like “It’s gonna be FINE RELAX!” I don’t heed warnings. I barrel ahead.
I was one of the last people in El Salvador before they became the first country to crack down and ban foreign visitors. I sat at the hotel bar that night drinking daiquiri after daiquiri as El Salvadorian businessmen watched soccer. Futbol. I ate pupusas and talked to the front desk workers in broken Spanish. The only places I went in the time I was there was a hotel and a Walmart. Beautiful country. This will be a story I tell my children so much that it makes them literally filled with rage because they are so sick of how many times I tell it.
I am doing okay because I am a lucky bitch and I am grateful and just trying to do whatever I can. The hardest thing I’ve had to do throughout this whole thing is to confront my privilege. I hate looking inward and examining the advantages I was given, I prefer to drown those thoughts away!
For real, I’m here for ya. If you’re struggling, email me!!! If you’re fine, email me too. I like emails. Emails are all we have now.
xo
Lael
Sorry I harass you all the time i don’t mean it I’m just jealous but you already know that
This gives me life during this qt lol.